dear future self...

 Dear Future self,

Allison. Wallison. yes you.

You're reading this in June 2025 - right at the time you graduate from college. Whatever the future is like, I hope they finally figured out how to cure allergies to dogs (im sorry but whY does that even EXIST?). 

Anyway. 

But right now - I'm writing this to you as a high school senior just about to enter college (whoo!!!). As I look back on high school, I want to remind you of the beliefs you've gained throughout your 4 years - beliefs that have shaped you and made you who you are. Beliefs that I hope you will never let go of - and that you will stay true to, no matter what happens.

So without further ado, here they are:

1. You're not defined by your resume or accomplishments AND you're also not defined by your biggest mistakes or failures. It's taken you a while to figure this out, and at times, you still struggle with not rooting your identity in these superficial things. And yet - these things, that may make a glossy or appearance on the surface fall flat in the end - when you look at your college applications, for example, despite all your effort to achieve, it simply cannot tell the full story of who you are as a human being. To be honest, high school is filled with a lot of pressure to achieve without really knowing what/why you want to achieve something. My hope for you is that your achievements are from a place of security in knowing who you are, and not a place of striving. As the lyrics from the song, "You Say" by Lauren Daigle put it: "Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?" Yes. Yes you are. You are loved by God. And that's enough.
   
   
   
2. At the end of the day, love is the only thing that lasts. I know, I know CHEESY. At first glance, it's one of those cringy quotes you may scroll through on Instagram - and yet...it's one of those things that really hold true. I look back at high school, and as much as I'm happy at the things I achieved and the skills I gained, I can't help but ask: what is it all for? The competitions, extracurriculars, grades - yes they are pressing in the moment, but they fade. If I had one regret from high school, I wish I spent more time in high school intentionally loving people - serving people and focusing more on their needs, rather than getting lost in the problems and anxieties of the moment. Now, you have a chance to change that.
   
   
   
3. Comparison is never the answer. At Troy High, you are surrounded by amazing, talented people in all areas of life - people that are hardworking, extremely smart, but also down to earth. You have tortured yourself with comparison for so long....only to realize: you will never find purpose in comparison. You will never find acceptance in it either. That's because your value AND your success simply can't be determined by comparison. Life is more beautiful when you sit back and find joy in seeing others pursuing their dreams rather than feeling bad about yourself. I'll steal a line from Bob Goff (who's Dream Big book I just read for independent reading #3!): "Taking a genuine interest in others can unleash yours."
   
   
   
4. Participate! This is something you definitely learned in high school: the wonders of raising your hand in class, or just finding joy in participating by talking/giving answers to things. Weirdly enough, in some early parts of your life (aka elementary/middle school) you were quite opposed to this. And yet - it's truly more fun when you participate. You get so much more out of class, learning, and life in general. So raise your hand. Ask that question, even if you think it makes you look dumb. Vulnerability reciprocates vulnerability. So does openness. You'll find that when you speak and participate, oftentimes, you'll realize you were wrong. And that's okay. Admit you're wrong and get over it (never try to double down that does not go well). But also when you participate (especially in class discussions and such), you can get inspired by the intelligence and unique perspectives of others! And that's pretty cool. *insert sunglasses emoji
   
   
   
5. Lean into your passions - don't try to fit yourself into whatever box you feel obligated to fit because it's the "practical" or more "responsible thing to do."  Ah yes, the weird high school question of "what am I going to do in life??" (even though statistically you will change your careers 5-7 times in your life - yes, CAREER not just job) and also "I must prepare for future/job" mindset. The most meaningful things in life aren't always directly related to your career or the more practical parts of life - but if you pursue those random interests like poetry, baking, or frog cakes - you'll be surprised by where it leads and how they can all tie in. Don't be afraid to find your own path.
6. Never stop learning (and reading)! Learning is...honestly pretty great - especially if it's something you're interested in. Classes like AP Comp Gov, Econ - yes they were practical and *accelerated* courses, but really, it's the different perspectives and fun ways you can see those lessons applied to in real life. Right now you're taking a Science of Well Being course - which has taught you a lot on the science of happiness. If there's one thing you learned as a second semester senior, it's that you should actually read things?? (shocking idea I know) and that the Screen Time function to set time limits on Youtube is pretty helpful. I hope you keep that same desire for learning in your life in the future - but most of all, I hope you set aside space and time to be able to do that learning. 
   
   
   
7. We all worship something. "There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship." That's a quote from David Wallace's This is Water: probably one of the best things you ever read in an English class (thank you Ms. Valentino). Even though you know God is the most important thing in your life (and honestly the thing that has brought the most life and joy and satisfaction), realistically, you look back and there have been times when you "worshipped" other things in reality: success, fun, appearance. Whatever you're pursuing in the future, make sure it's worthwhile your worship. 
8. Being qualified is overrated. You don't have to have it all figured out or feel like you're qualified to do something to do it. Again, I'm going to pull another Bob Goff quote here: sometimes failure is what qualifies us. For the next step in life or whatever. 
9. Learn how to write shorter things. Sometimes you do need to shut up. But for now, I think you can learn that some other time.
   
   

Ok I said earlier that I hope you never change these beliefs. I do hope that - but I also hope that your beliefs evolve and change and grow as you learn and grow as a person. Hold on to your core values, is what I'm saying. Opinions can come and go but that's what really matters. 

Sincerely,

2021 deep thoughts Allison (sometimes found from the time periods of 9pm - 11am).