i love oranges

as i was reading great gatsby, one detail really stuck out to me:

chapter 2, page 39: "There was a machine in the kitchen which could extract the juice of two hundred oranges in half an hour if a little button was pressed two hundred times by a butler's thumb."

Now you might be thinking, wow Allison that is a very interesting honestly quite weird quote to pick for this week's blog post. And to that I would say: you're absolutely right. And as an add on: Don't worry, it just gets weirder from here.

I did not pick this quote because of some deep analysis purpose. No, I picked it because I fricking love oranges. To give you some context, I almost named this blog "orange" or "oranges with Allison" but sadly both those names were somehow taken by some other Allisons who also love oranges. (honestly that was so confusing to me because naming your blog after oranges is weird enough but how are there other people with this same weird thought?)
u reading this blog post realizing that its absolutely crackhead

But going back to that quote - that image of an orange machine - well that sounds absolutely amazing to me. Out of all the luxuries Gatsby has, I must say that this is the one I envy most. Why? Because I love oranges as established before and also I would like to live in a world where a large amount of the population is just standing around doing nothing but drinking orange  juice (sounds like an interesting concept). So I decided to do some research, because, honestly, 1) this orange machine sounded too good to be true and 2) I need something to make this blog more substantive than just a rant about how much I love oranges.

Now I present to you the result of my scouring the Internet (aka 5 minutes of googling):


this is the CecilWare commercial use Auto Feed Orange Juice Machine. It can intake 45 oranges per MINUTE. WOW! Gatsby could never. the only problem: it is $9,038.15. and unfortunately, I am not Gatsby rich. Not even close.
^^this could be a real reality with this machine!!

So I would like to conclude this blog post by saying that I am starting a Kickstarter campaign to get this. Donations are very welcome.


Footnote: Hi Ms Valentino if you're reading this I know this doesn't have an class connection (almost none at all), but I felt like this was a very important topic that needed to be talked about. Also I will make up for it in my future very serious analytical blog posts.




Comments

  1. ...and a bit more research gives that adjusted for inflation, it would've cost $591 in 1922. Except technology was worse then, so it would've cost more. Except this CecilWare whatever is 575% more powerful, so it probably cancels out, and $600 definitely would've been a drop in the bucket for Gatsby considering how his mansion was likely at least $6 million (I don't see it being below nine figures today)

    We should totally buy one of these as a class. Except then we realize we aren't the ultra-wealthy and if we do manage to pool this money together (which we technically can, considering how 47 students * $100 / AP test * avg maybe 4.5 AP tests per student is like $20k :o nice non-profit there collegeboard) it can be used for a better cause, so...

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    1. this is the best comment ever

      also yes we should def buy this as a class

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  2. This was a very interested blog and got me thinking on how I can make strawberry juice (I like strawberries). Also on wish.com they have a $31 orange juice maker that's probably fake because I found an iPhone for $5. Anyways good job on the blog and I look forward to seeing more great analysis!

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    1. ahhaha strawberry juice sounds so cool! also i should check out the wish juice maker...

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  3. Allison this was a very nice segway from your usual analytical blog posts and I enjoyed it very much! Your writing voice is so funny. I can hear you interacting with the audience, and then the gifs are just so funny too! I definitely hope you get your orange machine one day!

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  4. this is giving me serious traumatic flashbacks to my job at b*yond juice that i recently quit... all the employees hate when a customer orders orange juice bc we have to put like 30 oranges through a citrus press to make One Large Orange Juice and it is a NIGHTMARE!!!! whoops

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    1. oh i am so sorry...i can't believe yall gotta hand press the juice like that. u need one of these orange juice machines

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  5. As a fellow fruit lover, this post is probably the best post I've read this week. Pointless luxuries are always the most fun. When I was making my blog, I was going to use roma invicta as the URL, but it was taken. I guess the invincibility of Rome is a somewhat less niche topic than people named Allison who enjoy oranges.

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