is life a simulation? and other deep rantings about life

I first watched the matrix at the very beginning of quarantine, so to be writing about the matrix now feels like a weird, full circle moment in a way.

after i watched the matrix for the first time, I remember sitting in my seat with a slight sense of awe. The matrix is one of those movies that isn't just entertaining or enjoyable to watch - it also gives you an existential crisis on the side. And honestly? Those are probably my favorite type of movies. 

but of all the deep and ~philosophical~ things I could talk about in the matrix, the one thing that really captivated me was this: life, in the matrix was a game. A simulation, to be exact. A simulation made up of calculated programs that were borderline inescapable, and impossible to see beyond, unless you seek the truth. 

lol tell me why looking at this gif actually teRRIFIES me for some reason

and if you'll excuse me for a second and allow me to get a little ~deep and intellectual (idk am i even an intellectual? very probably not)~....is this "simulation" not what our life is like as well? And no, I'm not referring to those weird "life is a simulation" conspiracy theories. Rather, when you look at life from a broad point of view - when you look at the stages of life that society expects of us - it can all too easily feel like a game. As a kid, you are born. You go to school. Make friends. Go to college. Find a good job. Get married. Have kids. The cycle now repeats. This is the life that society prescribes most of us - and after all, this is what most of us think is a good life isn't it? So we spend most of our life chasing after these things - following a calculated program to achieve that one thing, whether it be money, power, or relationship, or most likely, all three in some form. Life, in this way, is a game - because, just like all games, there is a chase, a treasure or prize to be found at the end of manipulating situations to be in your favor. And like all good games, it's all too easy to get caught up in the chase.

rat race vibes but make it cute <33

This game of life, then can feel slightly inescapable - just like the matrix is nearly inescapable for most common citizens, the expectations of life that are put onto us by society make it hard for us to see beyond - to explore an alternate life path beyond the traditional pathways or programs. 

And yet, in Siddhartha, Siddhartha is able to do that. He is able to escape the game. This quote, below, is probably my favorite quote in Siddhartha:

"Kamaswami conducted his business with care and often with passion, but Siddhartha looked upon all of this as if it was a game, the rules of which he tried to learn precisely, but the contents of which did not touch his heart." 

When I think of Siddhartha and all the very crazy things he does,  this is probably the one thing I wish that I could do: to be able to go through life with all its troubles, worries, and passions but not be caught up by it. To know that what you truly value isn't found in petty things like increased wealth or plentiful meals but is something that the world, cannot touch. 

When looking at the hero's journey - comparing both the matrix and Siddhartha - I find that the reason why I both admire Neo in the Matrix and Siddhartha in Siddhartha is because they are two characters that transcend the game of life. In the different stages of the hero's journey, I guess this could be classified as the departure - the departure from the ordinary world, whether that be the simulation's bliss for Neo or the worldly pleasures for Siddhartha. 

At the end of the day, Neo's and Siddhartha's respective heroic journeys all start with them listening to that inner, gnawing feeling that there's something more. And deep down, I think we all have that urge, in some shape or another. While we may not all be at Neo or Siddartha- like hero status now, we can find comfort in the fact that because we start at the same place, we all have the potential to reach that  same outcome.