identity crisis time: a DOAS perspective

In junior year, we concentrated nearly a whole semester of reading around the American Dream. And so, for this reason, when Death of a Salesman was introduced as a play that touches on the theme of the American Dream, a small part of me died a little. 

Okay, I'm being overdramatic. But then again, so is DOAS.

And so, as I read through Death of a Salesman, I first read it through the lens of the American Dream. I jotted down Cornell notes filled with quotes about diamonds, rantings about dreams and success, and money. From this point of view, Death of a Salesman was a good play. Albeit, to me, a little unremarkable. Now, don't get me wrong, I could talk about societal success standards and materialism any day, but if Death of a Salesman is purely a play about the futility/artificiality of the American Dream - is this not a book or story that many of us have already read?

And yet, in the Second Act, something shifted for me. Rather than boring or predictable, the lines in the DOAS, seemed, a little weightier - resonating on a deeper level. As I went over my Cornell notes again, I realized something - DOAS is not just a play about the American Dream. 

Instead, for me, Death of a Salesman at its core, is a play about identity. 

And when I finally read DOAS as such, that is when it became beautiful.

Throughout DOAS, Willy frequently looks for wealth. For success - whether that be in the form of diamonds or an increase in title at work. But behind all of that, what Willy is really seeking is identity. Significance. Approval.

When Willy thinks about his funeral, the first thing that comes to mind is he wants something large. And yes, that showiness is in line with Willy's obsession with money and success. But in that desire for wanting a large funeral filled with people, Willy reveals something else: he wants to be known. 

As it says on page 1927, Willy says, "That boy will be thunder struck, Ben, because he never realized - I am known! Rhode Island, New York, New Jersey - I am known, Ben and he'll see it with his eyes once and for all. He'll see what I am, Ben! he's in for a shock, that boy!" 

More than salary or title, Willy's real desire is something much more childlike: he just wants to be approved of for who he is. And maybe that's why, throughout DOAS, Willy kind of acts like a child. He throws temper tantrums, he yells, he sulks, he gets mad over something like cheese. CHEESE. 

jerry was an icon

Like a toddler who is frustrated and doesn't really know their place in the world, that is Willy. 

The reason behind Willy's frustration is because he is defining his identity in impossible places. Willy thinks his identity is in the amount of money he makes, or how prestigious his job is. That's why, when Willy finally realizes that Biff loves him, he is awestruck.

(page 1931): "Willy: Loves me. (Wonderingly)."

Willy doesn't realize, that at his core, he doesn't need to be an important or impressive man to everyone to be valued. Rather than searching for approval from strangers, for one moment, Willy allows himself to dwell on the approval he has from the people who know him best. Biff. Linda. Happy. When Willy realizes this, he experiences peace, if only for a moment.

For me, DOAS is a lesson in identity. An examination of how what we draw our identity from effects our lives. In Willy's case, the message that money and outward appearance are his identity are so internalized that he ends up killing himself - showing, perhaps, how destructive such identity sources can be. But for Biff, he finds identity in something else. Biff loves the slower, simpler farm life - he knows who he is. And because of that, he is able to reject the expectation of identity that society puts on him. 

If we base our identity off inevitably changing or uncontrollable factors (salary/people's perception of us), the end outcome can only be sorrow and pain - as Willy's character shows. But on the flipside, Biff's character, although imperfect and filled with common human flaws, shows a path of hope. Biff shows that, when we have a source of identity, and if that source is truly secure, we can be strong enough to overcome and move forward.

In conclusion, that was my rant on identity. 

if you made it this far, here is a cute cheese gif. I hope this post was not identity crisis inducing :)