affirmative action and colorblindness

im writing about this topic lowkey late but also im rlly tired from my mun conference so imma just post this old draft post that i made last week cuz i think it might still be slightly relevant 

"I don't see color"

I think we can all agree here that this phrase is racist and problematic. It's the type of thing you could imagine an old relative saying at a family reunion while everyone else in earshot immediately cringes, simultaneously trying to forget that it ever was said while trying to point out its problematic in the awkward manner that is only reserved for lecturing older people.

After all, it's so easy to hate something that's blatantly racist, especially when it's committed by another person. It can even allow us to get that superior feeling of "wow look, I'm less racist than you." But in most cases, racism is much more subtle, and much more internalized, to the point that we aren't even aware of it. Chances are, you've possibly even adopted a slightly racist mentality yourself once or twice.

Now, you might be thinking: Hold on, Allison. I'm not racist.

And I'm definitely not saying that you are (in fact, I don't think any of us in class are? Hopefully? please don't come for me) But a lot of times, internalized racism along with our own privilege, limits our perception of racism to our own life experience.

Take the affirmative action debate for example. I've heard countless of my friends complain to me about how Affirmative Action hurts Asians and how it should be abolished for a "race blind" system. And full disclosure here: I used to be one of these people. In fact, I chose affirmative action as my research paper topic for last year, thinking that I was going to prove this conspiracy on how affirmative action systematically discriminates against Asian students. But as I started researching, I realized that I was wrong. Like, very wrong.

If you want to read my explanation of how Affirmative Action actually doesn't hurt Asians please click here (I didn't want to include a long rant since this is not my main point hehe, but if you do disagree w me, please read before commenting)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zgjyqd8qReTpyTNI0ub7knDUULBTgsaOivVO13xDTFU/edit?usp=sharing. 

Now that I look back, I realize that my feelings of wanting affirmative action to be replaced by a race blind college admissions system were actually an example of colorblindness. A race blind system basically assumes a meritocracy where if you work hard, then you'll get in. But when you look at reality, there is no such thing as a true meritocracy. We're all given privileges of some sort. So by implementing a race blind system in an imperfect, unjust world, what actually happens is that the privileged get a leg up, and the not so privileged are set up in a system that only disadvantages them (ie, the status quo is maintained). And ultimately, a race blind system ignores the fact that race is part of our identity! As if race is something to hide. For me personally, my racial identity means a lot to me - and I carry it with pride of knowing my cultural heritage and my family. And I've realized that I want to be part of a system that acknowledges our differences and embraces them rather than pretends they don't exist. 

So in summary, I just wanted to point out a little instance of internalized racism that I realized in myself. I was inspired to share this after learning in class about how much racism still affects society (I did not know metroDetroit was top 3 segregated areas still). Especially since we're going to be having some conversations about race (which can definitely be a touchy topic), I wanted to kinda start it off by admitting my own failing so that if anyone else had a similar experience of realizing their own problematic thought they wouldn't feel scared to share. I'm definitely looking forward to expand my mind and perspective on race by conversing w you all!